she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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