i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
