Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
