where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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