Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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