were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
