Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
