I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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