i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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