still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
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My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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