is your mom at the bar?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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