Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
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I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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