He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
