I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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