Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
