Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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