ugly people sure do ruin things
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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