And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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