Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
