I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Vodka?
Forever.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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