I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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