I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize