We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
