When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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