I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
