If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
