i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
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Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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