fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
