STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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