All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
