in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
