Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
