I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
