FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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