you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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