Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My vagina is officially offended.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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