Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
