bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
