could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
