it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
