How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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