he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
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If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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