It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
