Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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