I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
