Me. At least after what I've been through.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
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If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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