The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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