Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
