I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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