I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
