we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize