I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
