For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
