I think I died a long time ago.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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