I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
