also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
