Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
