super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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