I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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